Don Loegering Did Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night

My friend has died.

You wouldn't know it just from the outside, but he was one of my closest friends. He was 47 years older than me, retired military, German heritage, lived in all the places I had not, was all the things I was not, but he was my friend...

And I just found out tonight he died this summer...
And that makes tonight very hard...
Because I miss him.

Our lives had become very busy from when we met over 15 years ago, and the hectic pace meant we would go a couple of months without seeing or hearing from each other, and then grab lunch or dinner and the months apart would melt away as we caught up on each other's lives. And then every year at Thanksgiving or Christmas, sometimes both, I'd invite him to join us because to me, to us, he was family.  And so tonight, while I was shopping for food to cook for Thanksgiving, I called him to extend the annual invitation...But the phone just rang; no one picked up, no voicemail or anything.  I tried his cellphone and got that funky "the number you have reached is no longer in service" message, and began to worry.  I called his home number again, hoping that he would answer, hoping that what I had been fearing for awhile, what I knew would one day come to pass had not.  The line rang a full 20 times before I hung up and open my browser on my iPhone and typed in "Don Loegering obituary"...

And there it was, the moment I dreaded, the moment I knew would someday come... "Loegering, Donald L. AF Maj., Ret. of St. Louis Park, beloved member of the Basilica of Saint Mary congregation, passed away..."

This summer was especially hectic with a tremendous amount at work, home and in the community. Don passed away two days after I had surgery and the funeral was the same day as Rondo Days, the largest festival for our community in Saint Paul...and so, his passing went by and I missed it...

And now I just miss him.

I first met Don in 2000 when I was living in Stevens Square in Minneapolis and running for city council. It was my first run for office, I didn't know what the hell I was doing and Don showed up at a meet & greet and we just hit it off.  He offered to donate his time and talent to do the photography for my campaign.  He had a small studio on 19th street just off of Nicollet Avenue, a lifetime of experience and a passion for photography. He was retired so he did things because he wanted to, because he enjoyed them, not out of obligation. He covered the campaign because it suited him. He enjoyed the challenge and the experience. And he did damn fine photography. Out of that chance encounter came one of the richest friendships I've ever known.

Over the years, Don would do other photography or framing jobs for me including my first wedding, sometimes donating his time, often times with my insistence that he accept my money, but always, always out of friendship. We talk about politics and life, heartache and hard experience, where we had come from and where we were going and we would laugh a lot. We shared our regrets, and our joys.  He talked about children and especially his grandchildren, his journeys in Swaziland and Jamaica, his time as a fighter pilot and family.  We bonded over our mutual love of choral singing and I never met a more interesting person in my life.

I loved him and the richness he brought to my life. He was a Renaissance Man. 

You see, Don was my hero, and an American hero to boot.  I don't mean a John Wayne swagger type of hero, but someone more real.  He had flown in the Army Air Corps, served in WWII, Korea and intelligence work in Vietnam...and then left that all behind to join the Peace Corps.  He had the soul of a man who witnessed all manner of good and evil and still was whole.  He still had laughter in his heart and a passion to share his art and his friendship. He wasn't a blind patriot dolefully following the rhetoric spouted in the name of flag and country, but rather a man of honor and integrity that understood the difference between fighting a war and defending liberty. He understood truth.

He was a good man.

Last year, we hosted Thanksgiving at our house, my parents came out from the DC metro, my in-laws from here, my daughter's best friend and her family and our other found family, Martha and Don all got together, not knowing it would be the last one. Don enjoyed talking with people and loved to get to know them, and he had stories that would transfix you, no matter what your age. He spent a large chunk of the time talking with my mother and the two of them smiling happily through their experiences.

He was a wonderful part of our family.

Years ago, I had seen a photograph in his studio of him sitting in the cockpit of his F-80 Shooting Star, it was almost mystical.  I loved visiting his studio and listening to him talk about working with the younger artists in Stevens Square. I asked him for a copy, and he gave me a framed picture with a note on the back.  For years, that hung on our wall of family photos until an accident cracked the glass last year.

We talked about it at Thanksgiving, promising to get together so he could fix it...

we never got around to it...

I'm crying as I write this because I know he will not be here this year to join in our fellowship. He will not regale us with tales of far away lands and daring exploits; we won't commiserate over the most recent election; we won't talk about what the future may bring...

I miss my friend.

He was wise, he was fun, he was engaging...

He was my friend.

"Fare ye well
Fare ye well.
If I never,
ever,
see you,
any more.
Fare ye well.
Fare ye well.
I'll meet you on
the other
shore."

The Most Important Reason Not To Vote For Donald Trump...He's Not Running For President

I have not written about this election.

I have not given the glowing recommendations I did eight years ago. I have not shouted from the mountaintops for one simple reason: I have never believed Donald Trump was actually running for President.

I haven't believed he was running for President and that Hillary Clinton was a foregone conclusion, and so my voice did not have a place it needed to be.

But as I have watched events unfold, and the clock ticks down, as I have watched the fever pitch rise and as miracles like the Cubbies winning

the World Series have transpired, I realize that the world is indeed upside down, we are in uncharted territory and I might need to weigh in.

I'm not expecting to change anyone's vote. If you're in one camp or the other, you're there to stay for whatever reason, and no eleventh hour appeal will change that. But maybe, just maybe, some of these words may resonate and help you to think about your choice and whether it makes as much sense as you think it does.

Now, let me get a few things out the way. First and foremost, vote your conscience. Regardless of who that is, whether it's Hillary, Donald, Gary, Jill or even Evan, it is your right to vote for who you want. I will not condemn anyone for voting for their candidate. If your candidate honestly reflects your values and priorities, if they are going to represent the interests you want to elevate, if you have honestly looked at your candidate and believe that they will do the best job and be the best President there is, then you should vote for that person, and NO ONE should criticize you for it.

But with great power, comes great responsibility...

Your vote is your choice. With that choice, that right to vote, comes the responsibility to vet the candidate you are casting a ballot for. If you feel your candidate's position on issues, their platforms and policies reflect your priorities and you believe they exemplify the characteristics of the best leader to represent us on the world stage, then you should cast your ballot appropriately. In order to be sincere about this, however, in order for your vote to be truly valid, you need to be aware of and have given thought to what those policies, platforms and positions really are. For if you cannot do that, if you have not taken an honest look the candidates' positions, and given a fair analysis, if you are voting for any candidate simply because of a sound bite, their gender, their ethnicity or any other singular characteristic, then you are betraying the very sacred trust that has been placed in your hands, the power to choose our leadership. The power to set the direction and care for our country. To not do that most basic of things is, in a word, un-American.

Because of that, in this installment, I want to talk honestly about Donald Trump, because so many of his followers are sounding the clarion call to flock to his banner, but have not done even the most basic of reviews to understand what his positions are. If you are supporting Donald and you can't explain why beyond he's going to "make America great again" then you haven't really looked at him and his positions. You need to, to understand what you're voting for. That's not a criticism, that's just responsible citizenship.

And if you feel you have honestly done this then I have to question the integrity of your analysis, because Donald Trump has no positions. He has no policies. He has no platforms. What he has are sound bites, teasers, tweets and fluff; not the airy rhetoric we talk about when referring to people's arguments that lack substance, but rather the marshmallow filling that comes in a jar, metaphorically at least,  because it's syrupy sweet, sticky and full of things you should not be ingesting...That's what Donald's campaign is, sugary temptation that attracts you in, looks so good and then gets everything messy.

But that is not the reason you shouldn't vote for Donald Trump.

Contrary to conventional wisdom and the "liberal rhetoric" Donald Trump is not Satan, he is not "the worst person ever" and he will not be the worst president ever...the reason being, and it's the only one real reason you should not vote for Donald Trump, and that is because he has never actually been running for President.

His name is on the ballot, he has been endorsed by the Republican Party, he has been all over the airwaves...all the things that give the look of a person running for President...and that is where the crux of the matter is, Donald Trump has never been running for President, he's been playing the ROLE of someone running for President. Trump has been ACTING like he's running for President...as a Bond, comic or soap opera villain.

Now before you turn away with some expletives and delete this link from your feed, just take a step back and rather than believe or dismiss what I'm saying, look up this information for yourself. Check and see if this doesn't ring true.

He said he'd build a wall and have Mexico pay for it, but has never said how he would compel another country to do this, what leverage he has, where the labor and materials will come from, in essence, how this will realistically get done. Can you imagine if the candidate for Prime Minister of Canada announced that they were going to build a wall along the Canadian border and have America pay for it? Think about our response. How likely do you think they would be able to compel us? How is it any different with Mexico?...It's not, but it sounds good.

He says he's going to bring jobs back to America by withdrawing us from the Trans-Pacific Partnership and renegotiating NAFTA and imposing trade tariffs on Mexico and China...but again without any explanation of HOW he will get the other countries to come to the table, to renegotiate towards the US' advantage agreements that they are okay with. Further, any one of these attempts would actually cost us more jobs, damage relations and piss off the people we owe money to. Yet they do fulfill the image of America as John Wayne, kicking ass and telling everyone how it will be...you know, bullying.

He says that everyone is going to be richer with tax cuts and untold wealth, but there are no solid details to his plans and even on a cursory level, the top 1% would receive more relief than the bottom 60% combined, maintaining, if not widening the level of disparity in this country.

And then you simply turn your eye to his business dealings, his "university", his television franchise...Are you getting my point, people? Is it beginning to sink in? You've been had! You've been took! You've been hoodwinked! Bamboozled! Led astray! Run amok! He's not an actual candidate, but he plays one on TV.

Donald Trump has tapped into your greatest fears and fantasies, made impossible promises with no substantiation, and simply denigrated the opposition in the most derogatory manner possible...and we laud him for this.

He has lowered our standards and made us worse as a country, as a people because of it. He has lied to you, those of you supporting him. He has betrayed your trust and taken advantage of your desperation...and if you are offended by that consider that you are supporting a man who consistently talks about getting it on with his daughter.

I have not taken the same level of offense at his comments as most people, because I know he is going for the shock value. He is Stefano DiMera, Lex Luthor, Auric Goldfinger, he is nothing more than a character in a television show, but he has lost himself in the part.  He has carried on so much that it is hard to tell where Trump the actor ends and Trump the person begins.  Perhaps there is no longer any difference and he has fully become who he plays on TV.

But on Tuesday, you will get to decide if that show gets cancelled.

I understand you're angry.

Your position in the world has shifted dramatically in the last few years. The American Dream that you were promised has not been fulfilled. The opportunity, the honest day's work for an honest day's pay, the family and home with the white picket fence are not within your grasp. You have grown up with the idea of that promissory note Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. spoke of, a note from the "architects of our republic" guaranteeing the "unalienable Rights" of "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. And you are experiencing what brought about the Civil Right movement, that that check has come back marked "insufficient funds".

And your anger is justified.

And I know as you look around, you see various cultures, ethnic groups, underrepresented people now being represented, getting resources, moving into your community and getting seemingly special treatment and affirmative action measures that you don't get. All of this attention is being paid to others, and I can imagine your heart is aching and you are thinking, "but what about me????"

But it is not brown people who caused this default. It is not LGBTQ folks who have failed to cover the debt owed. It is not Muslims or Mexicans or any other ethnic or religious group that have overdrawn the account. Once you look past the fear and the rhetoric to see the "man behind the curtain", you will see what has been the case all along, that the situation we find ourselves in has been caused by the same group that have always been the root cause in this country: rich White men with no moral compass...men like Donald Trump.

Look at every single major issue we've had that resulted in systemic poverty or distress and at the center, you will find these men, utilizing the resources unscrupulously, taking advantage of every loophole and opportunity, smiling while emptying your bank account and always telling you it is someone else that is doing it. Someone who doesn't look like you. Someone who is different from you. Someone who fits your fear or anger. Someone you don't have to be convinced to blame...Someone besides them.

How long will we allow ourselves to be gaslighted America?

You don't have to believe me. Simply do the research yourself. Take a look at the countless "deals"

and schemes that Donald Trump has been involved in and how it is never his fault. Look at the hypocrisy and the lies and the fervor in which he has thrown himself into this role, losing himself in the part. And so, as you head to the voting booth on Tuesday, stop and take a moment to consider what you're doing. Consider what you're actually casting your ballot for. Honestly look at the fact that approximately 91% of what he said have been lies and ask yourself what are you really voting for if everything you believe in about Trump, all the things that drew you to him and caused you to choose him are false, then what are you really supporting? Ask yourself what you will really get once the power has been turned over. Ask yourself if a TV villain is what you really want to cast your vote for.

It's time to wake up America.

Think about this carefully and Tuesday, make the right choice, you hold the future of this country in your hands.

You can do this.

I believe in you America.