Notes on the State of Virginia: Charlottesville and the Country at Large

What must it be like...?

What must it be like to be so filled with hate, so filled with anger, so filled with rage that you protest equality; that you gather together, carrying a flag of treason to pronounce your intentions to "take America back"; that you look around at the inequity in the world and your own lot in life and decide to blame those people who have less than you; that you are so cowardly as to drive a vehicle into a group of people just because they have a different viewpoint?

What must it be like to be so filled with ignorance that you cannot see, cannot understand not merely the folly but the self destruction of your ways? What must it be to be so filled with prejudice, to be a bigot, and yet not have the discernment to understand the truth of the matter...?

By now, you should be aware of the tragic events that have occurred in Charlottesville, Virginia over the past few days, and if you're not, you can catch up with this Washington Post article.

Having grown up in Virginia and the DC area and having friends/family in Charlottesville, I have struggled over the past few days to process this. It is easy to condemn, to criticize, to renounce, and they are certainly deserving of it, but it's so much more difficult to understand.  And I want to understand, I need to understand, because I cannot imagine what, short of just being evil, drives a person to feel that much hate and anger that they are willing to act upon it, willfully, strategically and purposefully in this manner.

I need to understand, because I believe therein lies the solution to stopping it.  Understanding why they think the way they do, why they feel so threatened, why they refuse to accept logic, progress or just basic humanity, I believe, will hold the key to exposing those fears, revealing the true source of that pain and anger, and curing the infection of racism that so thoroughly permeates our country that they feel emboldened enough now to act with out fear of consequence; that there exists any elected leader in our country who doesn't condemn these beliefs or acts, hiding behind the mantle of "defending freedom"; that there are enough people to even hold a rally...

It is an infection that has long ravaged the body of our nation, and it well past time that we stopped treating the symptoms and changing the bandages and instead exposed this festering wound, inject a healthy dose of antibiotics in the form of knowledge and action, cut out the cancerous growth and put us on a definitive path to healing. Because the alternative is dying a slow painful death or a sudden and violent one.

Virginia has long danced with the issues of race and racism, from Sally Hemmings and the "white washing" of history that takes place at Monticello to Loving vs. the State of Virginia to the TC Williams integration (memorialized in the movie, Remember the Titans) to this most recent set of events, but peppered throughout its history are incidents large and small, but all connected by this same thread: race.

In 1986, my high school in Reston, Virginia came under investigation for racism and racial double standards (You can read about it here and here). My parents were leaders in the group that petitioned the school district to investigate. I was harassed and assaulted by fellow students who didn't like "troublemakers", force to demonstrate in front of teachers work that I had done at home that they could not believe I had produced, even carried of a lunchroom to applause by other students while the principal watched. I left for a new school in Washington, D.C. for my senior year. And this was in NORTHERN Virginia.  The state had and continues to have, issues.

Part of the issue is that we've never actually dealt with the origins of this country and the root problems that have existed over time.  We've never had a full and fair accounting of Slavery, its impact and its lasting effects that have led to poverty, crime, and marginalization of people of color. We have ignored the earliest signs and symptoms chalking them up to "freedom" or predestination, even that "those people" CHOOSE to live the way they do and if they just weren't lazy, ignorant or  predisposed, they could make something of themselves and achieve. We have allowed these beliefs, these expressions to grow and fester in silos, unchallenged fully, isolated from the rest of the world so that they flourish and are translated not as hatred, oppression or anger but as "alternative beliefs", to the point that any challenge or correction is refuted as "liberal nonsense" and "snowflake ideology" trying to squash their rights as Americans...

When did being an American come to include hatred of other ideas and intellectual discourse so vehemently that it moves people to threats of violence simply for disagreeing? How is that in any way aligned with the freedom of thought and speech which this country was supposedly built on? How is that in any way what America is truly about?

It's not, and it's high time we made that clear.

It's high time we as a people, we as citizens, we as Americans, make it clear that enough is enough. That this isn't just unacceptable, it is wrong, it is unwanted and it will not be tolerated. Period. No exceptions.

We are country of immigrants and misfits and marginalized people who have come from an imperfect start to where we are today and we need to acknowledge that as we move ahead. This land was stolen from our Native brothers and sisters, built by our Brown brothers and sisters and advanced by every shade of the rainbow, every orientation, every creed and we need to accept that, recognize each of us as part of this patchwork quilt that is America and which keeps us warm.  We need to continue to grow and explore that, and when someone comes to threaten it, when someone tries to tear it asunder using words like "freedom" as a cover, we need to stand as one and call that for the lie that it is.  We need to refuse to allow any quarter to be given in the battle for the heart of this country.

No more accepting or excusing the propaganda.
No more accepting symbols of insurrection as legitimate.
No more rallies of hate.
No more excuses.

This was not merely "Americans exercising their constitutional rights", this was deliberate, this was intentional, this was emboldened racists spoiling for a fight.  They hope to ignite a race war in this country. I know that many people are already in this, many have marched and protested and put themselves on the line and in harms way to fight these things...but not everybody has, and everybody is what it will take to do this.

No more sitting on the sidelines.

No more just working behind the scenes.
No more allowing hatred to permeate because it is inconvenient to take a stand.
No more.

We must fill "each unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run". We must press forward and not allow an ounce of hatred to squeeze by under the cover of individual belief.  We must call out and drag into the light every lie, every misrepresentation, every excuse that allows this wound to continue to fester.  We must excise this infection from our country.

This was not a peaceful rally, no one is trying to replace anyone, and never has it been said that White lives don't matter.  All of that is a smoke screen, a cover, a lie, to further hatred, to marshal those that racist ideology speaks to.

This was racism, clear and simple. And the fact that it is not being condemned at the highest level and named for what it is, the fact that anyone is giving airtime to this anything other than pure and simple hate is endemic of what still exists in this country.  It is what we have to stand against, it is what we have to fight.

We must be ready, we must be vigilant and we must be victorious, because we are battling for nothing less than the soul of our country.  And I cannot, I will not allow hatred to be represented as America. We must use our minds, our words, our platforms and speak the truth, expose it, liberate it so that the world will see.

We must take our country forward, not back, and free it from these shackles that have oppressed everyone for the past 250+ years. We must finish this once and for all. And when it is done, may it finally be the last battle of the Civil War and we can at last rebuild this nation as a truly UNITED States of America.

It is right.
It is just.
And Lord knows, it is time.

Killing Me Softly with This Privilege.

"When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the 'unalienable Rights' of 'Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.' It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note, insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked 'insufficient funds.'

But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. And so, we've come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice."

~Martin Luther King, Jr., "I Have a Dream"; delivered 28 August 1963, at the Lincoln Memorial, Washington D.C.

And so we come, each day, to the Bank of Justice. In long lines we wait,while the Privileged enjoy the express lane, not because of the simplicity of their transaction, but the simplicity of our system that rewards those with advantage. We wait as transaction after transaction occurs, no matter how complicated, until it is our turn...

and the teller goes on break.

Justice deferred is justice denied.

We came to this bank on the dream of a reverend, believing that this institution was

not bankrupt because so many of our privileged brothers and sisters had cashed their checks and danced in their street with their new found prosperity...we could see it, so there was no way to deny it, and all we wanted was the same opportunity, the same prosperity, the same free toaster.

But that's the thing about having privilege, often you don't want to share it. Somehow you think it cheapens it if others, especially those "beneath" you get it; sharing it somehow means you're losing something, that it is pulling you down instead of bringing everyone up. And so instead of the institution being bankrupt, it is out to lunch, or on break or closing early, any workaround that allows for the same result with a different face.  The institution isn't bankrupt, just continually and consistently unavailable...

Justice deferred.

And like that, your privilege is secure.  No one will take it from you, they aren't allowed in the club.  You have your exclusive rights, your bottle service, but you still maintain everyone is equal, right?  You have not great advantage, just those bootstraps you pulled yourself up by that got you to this place, and if those people would only do the same, they too could enjoy the fruits their labors...but they're too lazy, or unfortunate, or in the wrong place...never mind that your bootstraps were attached to their back and that you pulled yourself up by pushing them down...

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain as weaves his narrative and orchestrates the system that builds each leverage, each advantage to separate from those "less than"...he finesses the real estate, maneuvers the wealth attainment and manipulates the law and legal system all to exclude those not considered worthy and advantage those thought to be, until the divide is so great that the impossible can happen.

And this, then, is where we've come to, this is what progress has gotten us, new ways to deny justice, to defer it, to override it, until a Black man, is killed because an officer was scared of Black men, and his irrational fear, his Negrophobia, if you will, wrapped itself around him like a straight jacket and he shot...

pop...pop...pop...pop...pop...pop...pop

and he killed...

cop...cop...cop...cop...cop...cop...cop

and he was acquitted.  

His forged check was cashed while Philando's had a hold put on it.

Justice DENIED.

A system of privilege built to withstand any assertion, any attack any belief that it exists, like alien abductions, widely criticized and dismissed, yet no one has an answer for why the cows keep disappearing...

And that, therein, is where we have to start, acknowledging the existence of the problem, the stranglehold it has on our county, the interlocking tendrils that have weaved themselves into the fabric of our systems and society until they're almost indistinguishable from the true tapestry that is America...

But how you ask?

There is a thread loose...

A thread with names written on it, Michael Brown, Eric Garner, Tamir Rice, Walter Scott, Freddie Grey, Philando Castile, a testament, a memorial...

We have to grab that thread and pull it, pull it hard so that the fabrications and manipulations unravel to reveal the truth.  Truth that needs to be clear, apparent, have a light shone brightly on it: Privilege does exist and it is killing us.

Eliminating privilege means giving up the EXTRA rights, advantages and special perks afforded you because of that privilege. If one really believes that everyone deserves to be treated as an individual, equal and a human, the it is not only incumbent upon them to cast off the gilded ornaments of privilege, they should want to do so willingly and gladly. For the world to work right, we need to kill it, kill privilege.


It is time to lay it down and give it the slow, agonizing death it deserves and then to perform the last rites for the last vestiges.  

Only then can we be truly free. 

Only then can a Black man give up living in fear.

Amen 

Don Loegering Did Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night

My friend has died.

You wouldn't know it just from the outside, but he was one of my closest friends. He was 47 years older than me, retired military, German heritage, lived in all the places I had not, was all the things I was not, but he was my friend...

And I just found out tonight he died this summer...
And that makes tonight very hard...
Because I miss him.

Our lives had become very busy from when we met over 15 years ago, and the hectic pace meant we would go a couple of months without seeing or hearing from each other, and then grab lunch or dinner and the months apart would melt away as we caught up on each other's lives. And then every year at Thanksgiving or Christmas, sometimes both, I'd invite him to join us because to me, to us, he was family.  And so tonight, while I was shopping for food to cook for Thanksgiving, I called him to extend the annual invitation...But the phone just rang; no one picked up, no voicemail or anything.  I tried his cellphone and got that funky "the number you have reached is no longer in service" message, and began to worry.  I called his home number again, hoping that he would answer, hoping that what I had been fearing for awhile, what I knew would one day come to pass had not.  The line rang a full 20 times before I hung up and open my browser on my iPhone and typed in "Don Loegering obituary"...

And there it was, the moment I dreaded, the moment I knew would someday come... "Loegering, Donald L. AF Maj., Ret. of St. Louis Park, beloved member of the Basilica of Saint Mary congregation, passed away..."

This summer was especially hectic with a tremendous amount at work, home and in the community. Don passed away two days after I had surgery and the funeral was the same day as Rondo Days, the largest festival for our community in Saint Paul...and so, his passing went by and I missed it...

And now I just miss him.

I first met Don in 2000 when I was living in Stevens Square in Minneapolis and running for city council. It was my first run for office, I didn't know what the hell I was doing and Don showed up at a meet & greet and we just hit it off.  He offered to donate his time and talent to do the photography for my campaign.  He had a small studio on 19th street just off of Nicollet Avenue, a lifetime of experience and a passion for photography. He was retired so he did things because he wanted to, because he enjoyed them, not out of obligation. He covered the campaign because it suited him. He enjoyed the challenge and the experience. And he did damn fine photography. Out of that chance encounter came one of the richest friendships I've ever known.

Over the years, Don would do other photography or framing jobs for me including my first wedding, sometimes donating his time, often times with my insistence that he accept my money, but always, always out of friendship. We talk about politics and life, heartache and hard experience, where we had come from and where we were going and we would laugh a lot. We shared our regrets, and our joys.  He talked about children and especially his grandchildren, his journeys in Swaziland and Jamaica, his time as a fighter pilot and family.  We bonded over our mutual love of choral singing and I never met a more interesting person in my life.

I loved him and the richness he brought to my life. He was a Renaissance Man. 

You see, Don was my hero, and an American hero to boot.  I don't mean a John Wayne swagger type of hero, but someone more real.  He had flown in the Army Air Corps, served in WWII, Korea and intelligence work in Vietnam...and then left that all behind to join the Peace Corps.  He had the soul of a man who witnessed all manner of good and evil and still was whole.  He still had laughter in his heart and a passion to share his art and his friendship. He wasn't a blind patriot dolefully following the rhetoric spouted in the name of flag and country, but rather a man of honor and integrity that understood the difference between fighting a war and defending liberty. He understood truth.

He was a good man.

Last year, we hosted Thanksgiving at our house, my parents came out from the DC metro, my in-laws from here, my daughter's best friend and her family and our other found family, Martha and Don all got together, not knowing it would be the last one. Don enjoyed talking with people and loved to get to know them, and he had stories that would transfix you, no matter what your age. He spent a large chunk of the time talking with my mother and the two of them smiling happily through their experiences.

He was a wonderful part of our family.

Years ago, I had seen a photograph in his studio of him sitting in the cockpit of his F-80 Shooting Star, it was almost mystical.  I loved visiting his studio and listening to him talk about working with the younger artists in Stevens Square. I asked him for a copy, and he gave me a framed picture with a note on the back.  For years, that hung on our wall of family photos until an accident cracked the glass last year.

We talked about it at Thanksgiving, promising to get together so he could fix it...

we never got around to it...

I'm crying as I write this because I know he will not be here this year to join in our fellowship. He will not regale us with tales of far away lands and daring exploits; we won't commiserate over the most recent election; we won't talk about what the future may bring...

I miss my friend.

He was wise, he was fun, he was engaging...

He was my friend.

"Fare ye well
Fare ye well.
If I never,
ever,
see you,
any more.
Fare ye well.
Fare ye well.
I'll meet you on
the other
shore."

The Most Important Reason Not To Vote For Donald Trump...He's Not Running For President

I have not written about this election.

I have not given the glowing recommendations I did eight years ago. I have not shouted from the mountaintops for one simple reason: I have never believed Donald Trump was actually running for President.

I haven't believed he was running for President and that Hillary Clinton was a foregone conclusion, and so my voice did not have a place it needed to be.

But as I have watched events unfold, and the clock ticks down, as I have watched the fever pitch rise and as miracles like the Cubbies winning

the World Series have transpired, I realize that the world is indeed upside down, we are in uncharted territory and I might need to weigh in.

I'm not expecting to change anyone's vote. If you're in one camp or the other, you're there to stay for whatever reason, and no eleventh hour appeal will change that. But maybe, just maybe, some of these words may resonate and help you to think about your choice and whether it makes as much sense as you think it does.

Now, let me get a few things out the way. First and foremost, vote your conscience. Regardless of who that is, whether it's Hillary, Donald, Gary, Jill or even Evan, it is your right to vote for who you want. I will not condemn anyone for voting for their candidate. If your candidate honestly reflects your values and priorities, if they are going to represent the interests you want to elevate, if you have honestly looked at your candidate and believe that they will do the best job and be the best President there is, then you should vote for that person, and NO ONE should criticize you for it.

But with great power, comes great responsibility...

Your vote is your choice. With that choice, that right to vote, comes the responsibility to vet the candidate you are casting a ballot for. If you feel your candidate's position on issues, their platforms and policies reflect your priorities and you believe they exemplify the characteristics of the best leader to represent us on the world stage, then you should cast your ballot appropriately. In order to be sincere about this, however, in order for your vote to be truly valid, you need to be aware of and have given thought to what those policies, platforms and positions really are. For if you cannot do that, if you have not taken an honest look the candidates' positions, and given a fair analysis, if you are voting for any candidate simply because of a sound bite, their gender, their ethnicity or any other singular characteristic, then you are betraying the very sacred trust that has been placed in your hands, the power to choose our leadership. The power to set the direction and care for our country. To not do that most basic of things is, in a word, un-American.

Because of that, in this installment, I want to talk honestly about Donald Trump, because so many of his followers are sounding the clarion call to flock to his banner, but have not done even the most basic of reviews to understand what his positions are. If you are supporting Donald and you can't explain why beyond he's going to "make America great again" then you haven't really looked at him and his positions. You need to, to understand what you're voting for. That's not a criticism, that's just responsible citizenship.

And if you feel you have honestly done this then I have to question the integrity of your analysis, because Donald Trump has no positions. He has no policies. He has no platforms. What he has are sound bites, teasers, tweets and fluff; not the airy rhetoric we talk about when referring to people's arguments that lack substance, but rather the marshmallow filling that comes in a jar, metaphorically at least,  because it's syrupy sweet, sticky and full of things you should not be ingesting...That's what Donald's campaign is, sugary temptation that attracts you in, looks so good and then gets everything messy.

But that is not the reason you shouldn't vote for Donald Trump.

Contrary to conventional wisdom and the "liberal rhetoric" Donald Trump is not Satan, he is not "the worst person ever" and he will not be the worst president ever...the reason being, and it's the only one real reason you should not vote for Donald Trump, and that is because he has never actually been running for President.

His name is on the ballot, he has been endorsed by the Republican Party, he has been all over the airwaves...all the things that give the look of a person running for President...and that is where the crux of the matter is, Donald Trump has never been running for President, he's been playing the ROLE of someone running for President. Trump has been ACTING like he's running for President...as a Bond, comic or soap opera villain.

Now before you turn away with some expletives and delete this link from your feed, just take a step back and rather than believe or dismiss what I'm saying, look up this information for yourself. Check and see if this doesn't ring true.

He said he'd build a wall and have Mexico pay for it, but has never said how he would compel another country to do this, what leverage he has, where the labor and materials will come from, in essence, how this will realistically get done. Can you imagine if the candidate for Prime Minister of Canada announced that they were going to build a wall along the Canadian border and have America pay for it? Think about our response. How likely do you think they would be able to compel us? How is it any different with Mexico?...It's not, but it sounds good.

He says he's going to bring jobs back to America by withdrawing us from the Trans-Pacific Partnership and renegotiating NAFTA and imposing trade tariffs on Mexico and China...but again without any explanation of HOW he will get the other countries to come to the table, to renegotiate towards the US' advantage agreements that they are okay with. Further, any one of these attempts would actually cost us more jobs, damage relations and piss off the people we owe money to. Yet they do fulfill the image of America as John Wayne, kicking ass and telling everyone how it will be...you know, bullying.

He says that everyone is going to be richer with tax cuts and untold wealth, but there are no solid details to his plans and even on a cursory level, the top 1% would receive more relief than the bottom 60% combined, maintaining, if not widening the level of disparity in this country.

And then you simply turn your eye to his business dealings, his "university", his television franchise...Are you getting my point, people? Is it beginning to sink in? You've been had! You've been took! You've been hoodwinked! Bamboozled! Led astray! Run amok! He's not an actual candidate, but he plays one on TV.

Donald Trump has tapped into your greatest fears and fantasies, made impossible promises with no substantiation, and simply denigrated the opposition in the most derogatory manner possible...and we laud him for this.

He has lowered our standards and made us worse as a country, as a people because of it. He has lied to you, those of you supporting him. He has betrayed your trust and taken advantage of your desperation...and if you are offended by that consider that you are supporting a man who consistently talks about getting it on with his daughter.

I have not taken the same level of offense at his comments as most people, because I know he is going for the shock value. He is Stefano DiMera, Lex Luthor, Auric Goldfinger, he is nothing more than a character in a television show, but he has lost himself in the part.  He has carried on so much that it is hard to tell where Trump the actor ends and Trump the person begins.  Perhaps there is no longer any difference and he has fully become who he plays on TV.

But on Tuesday, you will get to decide if that show gets cancelled.

I understand you're angry.

Your position in the world has shifted dramatically in the last few years. The American Dream that you were promised has not been fulfilled. The opportunity, the honest day's work for an honest day's pay, the family and home with the white picket fence are not within your grasp. You have grown up with the idea of that promissory note Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. spoke of, a note from the "architects of our republic" guaranteeing the "unalienable Rights" of "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. And you are experiencing what brought about the Civil Right movement, that that check has come back marked "insufficient funds".

And your anger is justified.

And I know as you look around, you see various cultures, ethnic groups, underrepresented people now being represented, getting resources, moving into your community and getting seemingly special treatment and affirmative action measures that you don't get. All of this attention is being paid to others, and I can imagine your heart is aching and you are thinking, "but what about me????"

But it is not brown people who caused this default. It is not LGBTQ folks who have failed to cover the debt owed. It is not Muslims or Mexicans or any other ethnic or religious group that have overdrawn the account. Once you look past the fear and the rhetoric to see the "man behind the curtain", you will see what has been the case all along, that the situation we find ourselves in has been caused by the same group that have always been the root cause in this country: rich White men with no moral compass...men like Donald Trump.

Look at every single major issue we've had that resulted in systemic poverty or distress and at the center, you will find these men, utilizing the resources unscrupulously, taking advantage of every loophole and opportunity, smiling while emptying your bank account and always telling you it is someone else that is doing it. Someone who doesn't look like you. Someone who is different from you. Someone who fits your fear or anger. Someone you don't have to be convinced to blame...Someone besides them.

How long will we allow ourselves to be gaslighted America?

You don't have to believe me. Simply do the research yourself. Take a look at the countless "deals"

and schemes that Donald Trump has been involved in and how it is never his fault. Look at the hypocrisy and the lies and the fervor in which he has thrown himself into this role, losing himself in the part. And so, as you head to the voting booth on Tuesday, stop and take a moment to consider what you're doing. Consider what you're actually casting your ballot for. Honestly look at the fact that approximately 91% of what he said have been lies and ask yourself what are you really voting for if everything you believe in about Trump, all the things that drew you to him and caused you to choose him are false, then what are you really supporting? Ask yourself what you will really get once the power has been turned over. Ask yourself if a TV villain is what you really want to cast your vote for.

It's time to wake up America.

Think about this carefully and Tuesday, make the right choice, you hold the future of this country in your hands.

You can do this.

I believe in you America.

How Does A Black Man Feel?

People have asked me all day how I'm feeling.

I have other Black male friends who are posting that they feel afraid, posting that they feel sad, posting that they feel fed up, posting that they feel angry...

and they ask me how I feel.

I feel like going on.

Every one of my friends' feelings are valid. The world is not the place that we were led to believe, that we were told would be when we grew up, that we were promised and that is disappointing, disheartening and depressing.

My friends who are afraid, have justifiable fear. In 2016 alone, Black men have been shot by police at a rate nearly 300% more than we are of the population. We take our lives into our hands every time we step out the door...But I'm not afraid. It's not because I'm braver or more courageous than my friends, it's that I'm just flat out sick of being afraid anymore...

My friends who are sad, have understandable sadness. How do you keep your spirits up knowing that the value of your life is not the same as those around you? How can you not be sad when your life expectancy is five years less than your White counterparts? Add in racial profiling, and the prospect of living to retirement age looks less likely. But I'm not sad, because I'm flat out tired of being sad...

My friends that are fed up have a right to be fed up. EVERY SINGLE TIME this issue is raised the deniers and detractors come out the woodwork to say wait for more data, and we don't know "all the facts"...then they want to parse the data to create new "facts" and it all becomes too much...but I'm not fed up anymore, I'm sick and tired of being fed up...

My friends that are angry, have many reasons to be angry. As Black men, our lives are constantly under scrutiny, attack, persecution and denial. We are not valued except as targets, excuses and a focal point for blame; ANYONE would be angry...but I'm not angry anymore, I'm sick and tired of being angry...

I'm sick and I'm tired. I'm sick and tired. But most of all, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.

We hold these truths to be self evident! That all men are created equal...yet we are killing and marginalizing one group at a rate tantamount to slow genocide all while denying it is happening...

(Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!)

Does someone not understand the definition of self? of evident? or is it equal?

We talk about how great America is or making America great again, but we fail to look at the gaping hole in our national psyche that is focused on the denigration and disposal of Black men. How are we to take that? How are we to reconcile the platitudes with the reality? How are we to take pride in a country that does not take pride in us? There is no greater conflict within me. How do I feel about my country, and how does my country feel about me?

And how do I feel? I feel like going on.

I feel this way because we are trapped in a loop of repetition, plying the same old excuses, the same old hollow words, and the same old outrage.

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. It is time to stop. It is time to step off this merry-go-round. It is time to look at the man-in-the-mirror, America, and make a change.

We need an intervention.

We need to stop seeing Black men as threats and targets and recognize us as humans, as friends as brothers. We need to stop excusing the soft bigotry of the passive acceptance of systemic racism. We need to stop negating the very existence of us.

We need to change our laws, our system and our perspectives. We need to stand together and recognize the value of Black men and the value of Black lives. We need to affirm that they do, in fact, matter.

And we need to let nothing stand in our way.

It is right. It is Just. And Lord knows, it is time.

Amen.

At Some Point, We Have to Admit We Have a Problem

At some point, we have to admit we have a problem.

At some point, we have to stop glossing over the very real tragedy that is occurring on a daily basis in our country and not write it off as justifiable, acceptable, or in any way deserved.

At some point, we have to sober up and look at the carnage that exists in our community and recognize that an uncontrolled predisposition exists towards the extermination of one singular segment of our society like an addiction.

Yes an addiction. We have a problem.

Regardless of individual circumstances, the same thing keeps happening over and over and over. It is beyond coincidence or isolated incidents, it is a pattern. A pattern as prevalent as meth or crack and as invasive.

We are killing Black men.

This is not anti-police. This is not anti-gun.

This is anti-extermination. This is anti-death.

This man worked at the school that every year for the past 7 has been doing food drives in March for Hallie Q's Food Shelf. Those children will never see him again and we, as a community, are going to have to explain why. We are going to have to help them understand why this is bad and keeps happening and still ask them to see the good officers that exist as separate from the addiction that infects law enforcement. We are going to have to help them understand why people they know are being killed for no justifiable reason.

The ONLY way we are going to be able to start on that path, the only way we are going to stop killing our community is to take that first step and admit that we, our country, our law enforcement institutions, our society have a problem. A problem that has taken root within our consciousness and given over to a destructive pattern of self extermination.

Black men are not other. We are not "out there". We are a part of our communal family and we are being exterminated by another part that sees us, whether consciously or unconsciously as something other than human, as something other than part of them, as something other than brother.

At THIS point we have to stop ignoring the truth and admit we have a problem so that we can BEGIN the first step towards getting clean and sober and stop exterminating Black men.

~Jonathan Palmer

*Warning: This video contains graphic and traumatic events. Please view with caution*

On Justice, Jamar and Jenga, Part 1

I have been thinking a lot about about the events surrounding Jamar Clark's death, the protest at the 4th precinct, our men and women who serve and protect, and the ongoing system of justice, or lack thereof within our country, especially for those of us of color or economically disadvantaged.

It has been difficult determining what to say and share. And one I started to write, I found it was hard to stop. In fact, I'm still writing. But I've broken this up into three parts so as not to overwhelm. There is so much going on; emotions are running high, anger and polarization are at the forefront, and most of all there is pain, a lot of pain, all the way around. Layer has been stacked upon layer, like a Jenga tower, until we've reached the tipping point. As is often the case, it seems we are so blinded by our own pain, especially when it is true, that we cannot see that of those around us, especially when they are on the "opposite side". As human beings have a tendency to compartmentalize and categorize those we consider as "other" making it easier to dehumanize and dismiss them, to criticize them...to hate them. Doing this avoids the burden of having to consider alternative viewpoints, empathize with those making impossible decisions in difficult situations, and allows us to vilify with ease with no regard for the consequences... Because, if we have to think about it, and consider that "other" as the same, we worry that that somehow makes our own beliefs wrong, which is most assuredly not true. We do this in religion, politics and any issue not germane to our own way of thinking, and it is a very limited viewpoint. An element of disagreement in any discussion or situation is healthy and helps to ensure that all perspectives are being represented...it's just not easy to do. And, unfortunately, that's where much of our public dialogue and rhetoric have devolved to...the simple path, the unexamined path, the easy path...but that doesn't make it the right path. America is great at condemning other people and other countries, but when that lens turns inward to us, suddenly the conversation shuts down.

Now, what I'm writing is not for everyone. If you view the police and law enforcement SOLELY as a paramilitary organization with malice and wanton destruction as their goal, this post is not for you. You won't like it, and you should turn away now and find some Ziggy cartoons or something less thought provoking.

If you view Black Lives Matter and other groups SOLELY as whiny liberals and minorities, sucking up your tax dollars and creating issues where none exists just to cause trouble and unrest, this post is not for you. You won't like it, and you should turn away now and switch on FOX "News" or some other distortion of facts and information, it will bring you comfort along with your Ben Carson lawn sign.

If you view tragedy and tragic situations SOLELY as an opportunity to create a platform to elevate yourself, be interviewed for soundbites and video, and have "iconic" moments captured professionally to create your next campaign sign or promo spot, this post is not for you. I have no pithy comment to go along with this one because there can't be. In the course of doing good work, leaders WILL end up on camera or interviews and be quoted, that is par for the course and not my concern, but if that was your goal from the outset, if exploiting this tragedy was your main reason for being out there, or at any time it became more important then healing the people involved or the community, then you need help, serious, serious help, and you should seek that out immediately and step away from the limelight. Period.

BUT

If you can conceive that no one person or side is entirely and absolutely right, if you can understand that hearing another perspective does not mean that you agree or even accept that viewpoint, if you can understand that sometimes people have to make choices that they don't like or agree with, but are compelled to do because of whatever laws are being followed, then I encourage you to read on. I make no claim to have the absolute Truth or to even be right, just that I can share my thoughts and perspectives shaped by my experiences as a person of color, as a member of this community as someone who has walked the path I have and hopefully provides some insight.

~End Part 1~

On Justice, Jamar and Jenga, Part 2
On Justice, Jamar and Jenga, Part 3

On Justice Jamar and Jenga, Part 2

I went down to the 4th Precinct Thursday night to see what I could see and learn. It was hard to go. As much as I wanted to be there, as much as I'd felt the pull, I had a sense of apprehension. The volatility, the images, the anger was all too familiar and reminiscent of what I had been through during the Rodney King verdict riots. I was not in L.A., I was in Atlanta at Morehouse College where police cordoned of the campuses of the HBCUs in the Atlanta University Center (AUC) as a "precautionary" measure (apparently that many brown people in one place caused anxiety), shot us with tear gas (even into dorms where people were simply watching) and assaulted us. They worked the group into a frenzy and then pulled back a half mile to let the rage explode, increasing the destruction and impact to "justify" their actions. Like this one, it was a mix of college students and residents from the surrounding impacted community, justifiably angry at the lack of equity and accountability within our country. The difference here being the additional element of individuals who are not affiliated with any organization or movement and who just want anarchy and chaos. I saw a number of these individuals on Thursday night.

The point I want to draw here is that having been in the middle of riots and dealt with police, agitators and simply frustrated people, it is not something I walk back into lightly. It resurfaces the experiences of violence, trauma and frustration that threatens to overwhelm. But, my heart aches for my community. It aches for those of us of color who daily must live within a system that continues to marginalize and oppress, with scant outlet for expression and justice. It aches for my community torn asunder by this system, this incident and the apathy that turns a blind eye, dismissing legitimate concerns. It aches for those who strive to uphold the law, caught in an impossible situation where mob mentality on both sides have swept them up in a tidal wave of turmoil, making it that much harder to do the job they love, to protect and serve. And it aches for the three people at the center of this and their families, because once you move past the rhetoric and accusations, once you move past the anger and rage, once you move past the soundbites, a young man lost his life and the two officers have to live with the consequences and the responsibility of that no matter what actually transpired.

When I visited the precinct, I was surprised by a number of things, some good and some not as much. I parked a block west of the intersection of Penn and Plymouth and walked down towards the demonstration. As I approached, I could hear Bob Marley's "One Love" playing as people huddled around fire pits or danced in large groups. From a distance, it could have simply been a block party, celebrating the coming of winter and neighborhood togetherness. I walked around to get a sense of things. To the west of the entrance in front, were tents set up with food, water and supplies. I asked a young lady standing next to a table if this was BLM, and she didn't know, nor was she sure where they were. She had only been there a few hours with a friend and she was just helping give out water. Not wanting to press, I moved on. Outside of the entrance stood 6 officers, half in tactical gear. Metal barricades extended to the edge of the walkway and Deputy Chief of Staff Medaria Arradondo was leaning over them talking to what looked to be reporters. As I walked out into the street, the music was then interrupted by one of the people getting on the microphone and giving an impassioned account of the reason for them to be there. She spoke from her heart regarding the importance of the moment and the value of each and every one. I ran into James Everett as I do at every rally or demonstration. He has a heart for community and I love his conviction and commitment. We talked for a minute before he had to head off. I talked with a couple of other people I knew before moving further down the block towards the east side of the precinct. For the most part, it was casual and laid back in the center as people huddled together for warmth and commiseration.

As I walked eastward, I glanced over and noticed a young man had climbed up on the wall on the east side of the entrance, behind the sleeping tents that had been set up, and had begun tagging the building. I thought to myself, "that's really not a good idea." Sure enough, about 15 minutes later, after he had moved on from curse words to spraying over the security camera lens. A ladder went up from inside the walls and officers came up with a rubber bullet gun. As they climbed up and slowly got into position and took aim, a number of people shouted at the man to get down, that he was going to be shot, but he kept tagging and a few minutes later he was down. All of the protesters ran to the wall shouting, "hands up, don't shoot" along with a string of expletives. The officers climbed back down and the next twenty minutes were filled with chants, cursing, yelling about abuse of power from the protesters. When the officers came out to clean off the lens, they formed a human wall and stood there while protesters jumped in their faces, calling them names and insulting them, yelling at them, and to their credit, the officers finished what they needed to do and went back inside. In at least this incident, their actions were measured and minimal and not without causation.

I suggested to one of the organizers that they warn the protesters not to engage in activities like that that would lead to further confrontation and he did. Standing up for what's right does not give free license to do what's wrong. In that same vein, as I continued to watch the activities, twice after that I saw officers come up over the wall on ladders, once with a hydraulic one and another just a regular climbing one, but with a ski mask on. As a general tip, if you're a member of a group that people think are betraying the public trust, and you're being protested against for at least in part a lack of transparency, showing up anywhere wearing items that conceal your identity might not be the best course of action...just sayin'. Another officer at the front of entrance was muttering things under his breath and giving that kind of dismissive laugh you give when something annoys you to the twenty-something, blonde, college student who was taunting them (yelling if they felt big and powerful). Not the worst he could have done, but also unnecessary and unproductive for the night.

I wandered back over to the entrance of the precinct and was standing on the side of the building when one of the officers called out to me, "You didn't come out to Open Streets this year." It took me a minute to realize what he was talking about. I'm part of a group (Minnesota Superheroes United) the dresses up like superheroes (cosplay) for public and charity events to visit with kids, make them smile and let them meet their heroes. Last year, at the Lowry Open Streets we met up with this officer and a couple of others, and took pictures together for the kids. It was a stark contrast to the situation we were in, but it brought home the fact that not everyone in this situation was bad, or wanted to be here. We exchanged a few more words, which was enough to draw the attention of some of the protesters. A guy who appeared high and had been "reassuring" the officers that they were mad at the system and not them and not to take it personally, edged over to the wall by the officer I was speaking to and one in a Guy Fawkes mask came and stood by me, while a woman snapped my picture. I laughed and asked her if it was me or the other guy she was photographing, but she denied doing it. So I wandered back to the street for 30 seconds, and when I returned, all three had mysteriously moved away. I left then, wishing the officers and the protesters good luck, and drove back home to process all that I had witnessed.

It's a lot to take in and a very complicated and complex situation.

~End Part 2~

On Justice, Jamar and Jenga, Part 1
On Justice, Jamar and Jenga, Part 3

On Justice, Jamar and Jenga, Part 3

This is not about whether or not there should be justice, there must be. Justice is necessary to bring healing and restore balance, not just in this situation but across our country where many are just now coming to the realization of what is happening within our legal system. But bringing justice requires facts, and there are a lot of facts that must still come to light and when they do, they will reveal the guilt or innocence of the officers. This part seems to be lost on many people, however; how investigations work and what is or is not possible. When the investigation concludes, and the evidence is brought forth, if it proves the officer's guilt than I hope and pray that justice runs down like water, and bathes our community in a healing balm that enables the Truth to shine so brightly no one, not even the most ardent defenders of the status quo, will be able to look away, and in that moment, they will have to choose whether to stand for what's right or be swept away in the mighty stream of righteousness. But while we wait, we must govern ourselves in such a way that retains the moral high ground and does not give into the anger and hate that we feel, not because it is not justified but because we lose our standing, we lose our conviction and our support when deviate from the right path. When Dr. King and others of the movement were arrested it was for doing things that should have been legal and for peaceful demonstrations that allowed the country to see the brutality of oppression, not for acts of vandalism and instigation. I understand the anger, I understand the rage, but we must be better than the forces that oppose justice, we must be better than that so as to leave them no loophole or technicality to escape. We must be our best selves to ensure that justice is served.

Justice, however, does not simply mean the conviction of the officers, it must also mean their exoneration if they are proven innocent. In order for justice to be fair and impartial, the outcome, even if we disagree with it in our hearts, must be dictated by the truth that is revealed; it must hold to the same standard that we are demanding for Jamar. For only in that commitment are we able to move forward. If the truth shows that the officers acted within the law, then we must embrace the truth and bear no malice to them. This does not mean you have to let go of the anger and rage, but rather redirect it to where it should be, even now, at the system that has so oppressed our country that people have already drawn conclusions about the guilt of the officers, vowing not to refuse to believe anything but guilt, regardless of what the evidence shows. That is a problem. We cannot fix a broken system and demand that it deliver justice if we are not willing to abide and uphold the same standard. If we uphold this same standard, then we can hold the system accountable and leave it no ground to go to.

And while we wait for this, it is incumbent upon those in law enforcement to recognize the maelstrom that we are caught within. To separate out the personal from the professional and allow, the anger and frustration to be expressed even if it is directly at you, without taking it personally, without allowing it to rile you, without reacting. We need you now, more than ever, to uphold the tenet of protect and serve, and be the heroes we need right now. We need you to stand tall, so as not to disrupt the peace that is tenuously in place.

The events that have unfolded and the resultant crisis we find ourselves in are built upon generations of systematic oppression of people of color and/or low income. And the posturing, rhetoric and loud screaming is getting in the way of recognizing that we're going to have to work together to reach the solution for all of us. People must be allowed to voice their opinion and frustration and work to bring about systemic change in PARTNERSHIP not in opposition to those that represent our government. And if we approach it rationally, reasonably and equitably, it clears the path for those who agree to join us and those in opposition to be revealed and moved beyond so that progress may be achieved. And those in positions of authority, it is their responsibility to recognize the bigger issues at stake, that existed long before they took power and not to be defensive but rather help bring about productive dialogue, recognize the anger and frustration and acknowledge it so that we can heal. Know that most people are simply looking justice and equity and help us all to achieve it.

Most important, it incumbent on all of us to not allow ourselves to forget the humanity in this situation. Not everyone who stands across from you is against you, some people just believe differently, some just do not know better. This is not saying do not protest. This is not saying do not defend. It is saying recognize the bigger picture, look for the places to find common ground. Look for ways to not allow this tenuous tower to topple over. Understand there is a difference between an individual and an organization and at the core of this are three people and their families whose lives were irrevocably changed that night, and seeking the truth, seeking justice and healing them and the community must be the first and most important priority. We must come together at the end of the day and build a better future for us all.

No exceptions.

~Finis~

On Justice, Jamar and Jenga Part 1
On Justice, Jamar and Jenga Part 2